I Feel Ugly

-My name is June;
-I am Russian, I am from Russia;
-I'm an amateur body piercer and avid painter;
-I write a zine called Manage Your Damage;
-I spend hours in bookstores, mostly frequenting K-W bookstore and Uppercase Books;
-In the warmer seasons I tend to be a drifter, you could see me in Guelph one day and Ottawa the next;
-I obsess over JtHM;
-My 3 music interests at the moment are Buck 65, Mary Magdalan and Muse;
-I love independent films and I strive to own film festival collections;
-I watch as much Invader Zim as I can;
-I wear glasses and they is smexy and green;
-I draw a comic called Sheila Quinn which was published in a paper no one ever reads;
-I've become a coffee addict, yet I still avoid hanging in prick coffee shops like Starbucks;
-You'll never see me without my headphones on;
-I read, research and write WAY too much and I love it;
-I'm a recovered drug-addict;
-Recovered meaning I no longer screw around with important things like life;
-I do openly smoke pot though, is it even considered a drug anymore?
-I am into body modification;
-I have piercings all over the place;
-I don't know what I'm looking for anymore...
-Maybe someone to have an intelligent conversation with;

I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be written large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more." -Dorothy Parker


Peace.

2009 Randoms

Rufus, My therapy Bunny and I :)

Daddy

This is one of my favorite poems ever, so I thought I would share it for everyone here. It's written by Sylvia Plath.

You do not do, you do not do
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot
For thirty years, poor and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to kill you.
You died before I had time--
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,
Ghastly statue with one gray toe
Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic
Where it pours bean green over blue
In the waters off beautiful Nauset.
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.

In the German tongue, in the Polish town
Scraped flat by the roller
Of wars, wars, wars.
But the name of the town is common.
My Polack friend

Says there are a dozen or two.
So I never could tell where you
Put your foot, your root,
I never could talk to you.
The tongue stuck in my jaw.

It stuck in a barb wire snare.
Ich, ich, ich, ich,
I could hardly speak.
I thought every German was you.
And the language obscene

An engine, an engine
Chuffing me off like a Jew.
A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.
I began to talk like a Jew.
I think I may well be a Jew.

The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna
Are not very pure or true.
With my gipsy ancestress and my weird luck
And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack
I may be a bit of a Jew.

I have always been scared of you,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You--

Not God but a swastika
So black no sky could squeak through.
Every woman adores a Fascist,
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you.

You stand at the blackboard, daddy,
In the picture I have of you,
A cleft in your chin instead of your foot
But no less a devil for that, no not
Any less the black man who

Bit my pretty red heart in two.
I was ten when they buried you.
At twenty I tried to die
And get back, back, back to you.
I thought even the bones would do.

But they pulled me out of the sack,
And they stuck me together with glue.
And then I knew what to do.
I made a model of you,
A man in black with a Meinkampf look

And a love of the rack and the screw.
And I said I do, I do.
So daddy, I'm finally through.
The black telephone's off at the root,
The voices just can't worm through.

If I've killed one man, I've killed two--
The vampire who said he was you
And drank my blood for a year,
Seven years, if you want to know.
Daddy, you can lie back now.

There's a stake in your fat black heart
And the villagers never liked you.
They are dancing and stamping on you.
They always knew it was you.
Daddy, daddy, you bastard, I'm through.

Sylvia Plath

Peace.

My Vanity Has Been Destroyed, This Famine Keeps Me Paranoid.

School Has Started. Joey Is In University. She's Sick Too. She Got Onto The Basketball Team Last Week. She Hasn't Slept Since Monday. A Boy Broke Her Heart. She's Been Up All Night Studying. Cocaine Binges. Food Purges. Her Anthropology Teacher Hit Her On The Head. She Gives Lame Excuses. This Morning She Woke Up At 7:16am. It's 3:00am Now. She Bought A Magazine. She Bought Some Shoes. The Shoes Make Her Feel Like A Model. Tomorrow She's Dying Her Hair Black. Last Night She Took More Than The Recommended Dose. She Hasn't Taken Her Medication In Days. She's The Only One On Her Basketball Team Who Wears Chucks To Practice. Her Roommate Has A Scary New Girlfriend. The Colour Green Has Become Too Bright.

She Cut Open Her Face.

She Sewed It Back Together.

She Tripped On Her Laces.

And Yet, Somehow, Life Goes On.

And...I'm an addict.

25 Random Things About Me...

1. My hair is natural blonde.
2. I'm a space cadet.
3. I smoke weed every day. It's my medicine.
4. I have an addictive personality
5. I enjoy needle drugs, nose drugs, all drugs.
6. I have 3 mental disorders: OCD, MDD, and GAD.
7. I'm a sex addict.
8. I'm BDSM.
9. I pierced my labia myself.
10. I was born a non-virgin.
11. I follow the Karma System.
12. I'm proud to support abortion.
13. I love to protest.
14. I enjoy exposing myself.
15. I can drink rum and coke nonstop.
16. I have trust issues.
17. I'm queen of cocksuckers.
18. I burn bras.
19. I wear glasses because I can't see distance.
20. I'm not afraid to admit I like pink.
21. Am I trying to make me cum?
22. I loathe shaving.
23. People can read my mind.
24. I can't stop making Jew jokes.
25. I hold a grudge for life but cherish friends for ever.

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Kristin Stewart Tokes - Everyone Should Read This!

Kristin Stewart, who's vampire flick Twilight lit up the box office last fall, was spotted on her doorstep in LA sharing a pipe with a friend. Immediately, entertainment blogs speculated whether the 18-year-old actress had hurt her success in Hollywood. But why would that be? She's not driving drunk, she's not doing blow, she's still got her undies on, and she's not acting like an asshole in public. Think about it, people. Peace.

Cheap speed

I'm compensating for my own selfish desires of falling back into that romance novel so I'm starting this blog. It will be about promotions, my cover girl lifestyles and whatever else I guess I want to talk about.

The twilight book has finally sucked me in, no matter how hard I tried to resist I found myself walking into Chapters, picking it off the shelf and throwing it on the counter. I bought a copy of High Times to even out the stupidity I was feeling.

I'm hooked. I've been reading it non-stop for days and I don't think I will stop.

I want to blow Edward Cullen.

Peace